Christmas Wish List: 2010 Edition

All I want for Christmas (and Birthday):

RayBan Shades

Beats by Dr. Dre

iPhone 4

subject to change without prior notice.

Histrionics and Dramatics

Sometimes I do have a soft spot for the dramatics but only for impact, nothing more. I never was a fan of histrionics and the drama that goes with it. I do understand that some people make this their life's template. Not me. Not only I am averse to it I also don't know what's the appropriate response to people who have the penchant of making a scene.

I used to work in a company where people shout at each other. No, not people at my level but people in the senior management positions. Ok maybe that is a tad too generalized. Let me be more specific, in my previous company, the Indian bosses like to shout. They like to shout at their subordinates. The former global head of my account seems to find the day unproductive if he was not able to shout at his people. One poor Indian paper pusher was even told during a global meeting that he was not needed. Poor bloke, he was half sobbing answering the strafing of queries from the managers. The good thing about this boss is that he seems to recognized that shouting is not the best way to motivate the Pinoys. He was alone in this though. The Asia-Pacific boss shouts at our global account head, while the CEO does not mince words nor decibel level when showing his displeasure at the Asia-Pacific boss. It's funny sometimes but it's not a party when one is the recipient of the histrionics being pulled by the boss. My former boss was also a bombay and he is from the same mold. Although he has not shouted at me, he has been very liberal in pushing the decibel level up even on minute displeasure. Why, he even raises his voice when he's happy. Maybe with more than a billion people in the sub-continent, one has to shout to be heard. Just wondering.

This is one of the many reasons I left that company. It's just not my style.

Now, I am working with my mom. While she does not shout at me, she, too, is into histrionics and dramatics so much that her tears almost can fall on cue! It always leaves me confused when after a discussion the response is a river of tears. Emotional "blackmail" sucks! It is the worst feeling and of course I feel bad making my mom cry. Unfortunately I can't just resign from the family business.

I wish that histrionics and dramatics are left to the unoriginal soap operas. Or at the very least outside the workplace. Me, I do my dramatics and histrionics here in the blogosphere, in that way the person who may chance upon my blog can opt not to read histrionics and my poor writing style.

Lesson from a Razor

I was having a light conversation with a co-worker in one of our break times one time when the topic of discussion went to shaving. He asked me how often I shave. I told him that I shave every other day. He was curious because he runs the razor over his face every day but still have a 6 o'clock shadow a few hours after shaving. We compared shaving styles and the basic difference was that I shave against the grain while he doesn't.

I told him that he must shave against the grain because it cuts deeper. I concluded that this is the reason why his hair grows faster than mine. He was hesitant at first but I encouraged him to do it if he wants a cleaner and closer shave. And so he did.

Big mistake.

My co-worker is actually a mestizo. While his mom is a Filipina, his dad was an Arab. The reason why his hair grows faster is genetics. Aside from the fact that going against the grain did not really work for him, he had cuts all over his face. All because of my advice.

I learned one important lesson that day and that is: what works for one may not work for another. Even for the same problem, solutions differ from one person to another for the simple reason that every human being is unique. Not just biologically but also in history and values. We should not insist on what we think is right because our biases can impede in the recognition that the other person is different.

* * *

Post Script: I did learn that lesson but the fact remains I still don't practice it. I still try to impose my idea of what is right. I am not perfect, I am a work in progress. I am working on it.

Send in The Clowns

My dad's C has worsened. He is malnourished because he wouldn't eat. And this sudden turn of events have affected my mom very much. She has not been sleeping well because she is worried about my father. She checks up on him every now and then to see if he is alright and comfortable. And when she is able to get some sleep, my dad would sometimes also wake her up because he needs assistance. Be it for food, for medicine, to be comforted, etc. My mom is now my dad's rock. But this rock is not a strong rock. My mom is not a very healthy woman herself. She has hypertension and all these lack of sleep and stressful situations may trigger an attack. It is my duty now to make sure that I give enough support to my mom so that her stress levels will not elevate more than necessary.

While I can suppress sadness and all other "unnecessary" feelings, my mom can't. She's been crying on a daily basis now whenever we talk about my dad. She cries because she's tired. She cries because she is scared. Sometimes I want to cry, too, but for her sake I have to look like I am strong. I even indulge her talk about showbiz stuff (esp. Sarah G. and Marian R.) just so she can rest her mind from thinking about my dad's condition.

I just wish my dad gets better so that we can smile again.

Pilgrim's Theme

In the past, I used to be a member of a chapel choir. This song is one of my favorite songs. It's very relevant to those among us who are getting tired of this journey... maybe it's time for us to recognize the One who's been there all along.

Bartender

I really want to be a good cocktail mixer. I know how to make a margarita by heart. Today I learned how to make a Bacardi cocktail. Soon I will be a bartender.

Here are the recipes I follow:

Margarita

1 part tequila (better if it's the white one not the anejo, better quality of tequila better margarita. but the cheap ones will do)

1 part triple sec

2 parts sour juice (lime will do or lemon but it's best to just buy the Sour Mix or the margarita mix)

Lace the brim of the glass with fine iodized salt, but it's ok as well to not put any if you prefer it. You can serve this with crushed ice (or mix this with the ice in the blender).

Bacardi Cocktail

1 part grenadine (you can adjust the volume with the lime / lemon juice because this is sweet)

1 part lime or lemon juice

2 parts rum (again it would be better if you get the white one, it doesn't have to be a Bacardi but it would taste better if it is)

Unlike the margarita, mix the drink in a shaker (I improvised using a spill proof Starbucks mug) with the ice and pour the contents in a glass clean (without ice).

Constant Change

I used to work in a bank for almost 8 years. Even though that it's been almost 7 years since I left UCPB, I always felt that I belong because a lot of my close friends are still working there. But steadily this is becoming untrue. In the very few occasions that I visit the very first company I worked with I am seeing less and less familiar faces. I don't feel I belong anymore. Even the guards and messengers have changed. I'm seeing strangers.

Today another change has happened. One of my closest friends from the bank is leaving for Canada. Jane has been my mentor when I started, now she too has left. There were a lot before her. Mia also migrated to the US, so has Cloy whom I totally lost contact with. One of my favorite bosses, Ma'am Myrna also went to the US. Bless moved to Manila just recently. Anne also left the bank and although she's just in Davao, I hardly get to see her anymore. Same story with Dyna and Noreen.

I guess that's how life is. We move on with our lives either for better opportunities or to start a family somewhere else. It is a little bit sad but we have to embrace change, it's the only thing that's been consistent in our lives. It's a melancholic realization but nevertheless real. There are a lot of wonderful memories that we've shared in our stint in the bank, I hope that it is enough to keep us as friends in the long haul.

A No is Better Than a Maybe When You Really Mean No

A lot of us, me included, have a problem saying no. Some say it is cultural but after too many nights watching too many episodes of Oprah, the fear of saying no is not just a Filipino thing. I am sure that there are a million different reasons why we just can't say no. Some are scared to say no because they don't want to reject another person. We all have been rejected one time or another and we know how that feels, hence, we avoid saying no. We are scared of saying no because we don't want to offend.

However, saying yes or maybe when we really mean no in the long run is actually worse than saying no outright. When we withhold our no we lead on that other person to that non-existent glimmer of hope only to get heartbroken when the time that yes is most needed. I think not saying no is actually a sadistic way of hurting a person. If at all the pain of rejection is eminent due to the NO, at least it is easier to recover knowing that one was not disrespected with a lie.

Of course, we still need to know how to say no in the most humane way. We need to make sure that our no is just a no and not a rejection of the person himself or herself. But more than being nice, I think a dash of sincerity should always be of paramount consideration. After all, a man is only as good as his word. If you give your word, keep it, or else, say no.

"I'd rather get hurt with your truth than be deceived with your lies." - anonymous (or I think from a song that I can't remember now)

IPAD Aspirations... conclusion

I finally have what I've been wanting... I can't post it in Facebook so I am posting it here. I'm sorry if I sound like I am bragging, I am just happy.

Short Musing

How many times do I have to fall before I learn my lesson?

Searching for the Right ISP

For the longest time (even when I was still based out of Cebu) my ISP has been PLDT. I really had a good experience with PLDT myDSL until we moved to Ecoland III. It has been a total ZERO connection except from 12 MidNight to 4 am. Totally unacceptable. We're currently eyeing the new Smart BRO WiMax. From what's written about the WiMax Technology (here's the link!), it seems like a good thing. Although the newest technology is the 4G LTE, WiMax is what's newest here in the Philippines. I am crossing my fingers. Oh by the way, BOO PLDT!!!

* * *

Because my experience with PLDT myDSL is horribly frustrating, I made sure that we don't get PLDT in our office. We got BayanTel instead. But sadly, I haven't been able to login to the internet since last Wednesday and all they have done so far is to call me and ask me if it's already ok or if I already reset my modem. Right now, I am not yet giving up on BayanTel. But my patience is wearing thin.

* * *

So right now, whenever I need to access the internet, I use Globe Tattoo. This time, I am the one effin' Globe because I am using my phone's SIM which has unlimited access to the internet. Beat that Globe! I mean, thank you Globe for this loop hole.

My iPad Aspirations

Ever since i saw Steve Jobs introduced the new Apple iPad, I knew then that I want one of these. As days progressed I saw more and more applications being developed for the iPad which made me want this oversized iPod Touch more and more as well. As if to add insult to injury, the iPad is not available here in the Philippines (not officially anyway) and because of that, independent non-Apple accredited importers are selling the iPad at a prohibitively exorbitant price!

If one buys the 64gig iPad in Hong Kong, it would cost about Php32,000.00 but for the same unit, it's priced at Php45,000.00 here in Davao! That's a 40% mark-up! That's like highway robbery, tech style. I am not even thinking of the iPhone 4 which is also not available in the Philippines. When will the people in Apple realize that this country is filled with katkat people like me who, despite the lack of moolah, will still buy an iPad? Oh by the way, katkat is my term for social climber.

I am sure my mom and my wife will split their hairs at the thought of my iPad aspirations but I just can't help it. I am a gadget guy with a major streak of flashy-ness. Yes yes, I want an iPad because I want to show it off. But I also want one because I feel I want to be part of this technological maverick and applications like FlipBoard. My ass, I know.

And it doesn't help that every time I pass by a store that I think would have an iPad available I'd pause and check it out. So pardon me, I'm drooling.

Updates

My recent post last March 7 says that I re-signed my contract. That was a few months back when i was promoted as Program Manager. I have since resigned from the BPO company. I am now officially a bum. My resignation was effective June 30, 2010. I've finally faced the fact that I really need to spend more time with my family. I am currently dying of boredom at my mom's office. I chided my mom that my journey from being a manager to a messenger isn't the best career decision anyone will ever make. She's very sport about it.

Now that I own my time, I don't know what to do with it. Oh yes, my mom actually is paying me to do something and not just sit and be bored in the office. Maybe I should start doing that.

* * *

Because of my status as a BUM, I've also accepted some online jobs like article writing. Now, I know that I am not the most creative of writers but I can safely say that I can make coherent sentences and string them together to create a logical paragraph. I can do that. But then the one reviewing my articles just said that she was confused with my sentences. Sweetheart, I may be a boring writer but my sentences make sense. Maybe it's you who need some checking, your bulbs might be getting dim.

I guess she was just lost in the midst of my long winded unimaginatively dull sentences.

* * *

The downside of being a bum is that the high 6-figure salary is gone. My mom now has replaced that with a mid 5-figure salary with a dash of guilt on the side. I am officially poverty-stricken, I hope this is not contagious and give it to my wife.

* * *

Here I am again, promising myself to write some more. I really do want to write because I feel that it is a form of catharsis for me.

Destiny

I believe in destiny.

We all have the same destiny anyway. In the end, we all die. That's just how I see destiny. Destiny = death. Ok, so I really don't believe in destiny. I believe in death. And all the rest between birth and death is up to you.

The trouble with believing in destiny is that it boxes a person into what he or she can be. That's just not right. Anybody can be the best that he or she can be as long as there is hard work and perseverance. Of course, you have to use your head as well. Nobody is destined for something by sheer dumb luck. How many crown prince and princess were never crowned? A lot.

Destiny is just a word invented by the lazy people. One can change the course of his life if he / she tries hard.

I Re-Signed...

It feels like I’m signing off my soul to the devil.

So finally, I got my confirmation to my new post. Honestly speaking, I am elated with the offer I got. Without hesitation, I signed. But now that the euphoria has died down, it feels like I am making a wrong decision here. I wanted out of the corporate world and be with the family for a time now. By virtue of this new contract, I am tying myself down for a year, at least. My mom won’t be happy.

I used to think that I am working hard for the money. Uhm, well, I still think that’s very important, but now that I have reached my goal, the pay does not seem to be as important as before.

I just hope that I made the right decision. I pray that the power that BE will help me make this a decision I won’t regret.

Calamity

After the showing of the movie 2012, doomsday topics have been rife. Although most believe that the world will not end by 2012, at the back of our heads there is always the ‘what if’ thought. It doesn’t help that here in Davao, for the past few months, magnitude 5-ish quakes have been very frequent. The epicenter has always been either in the southern part of Davao Oriental or off the province’s Pacific shore. Davao Oriental is just across our city on the opposite shore of the Davao Gulf. This while Haiti faced a widespread devastation after the 7.0 earthquake there and Chile also had 8.8(!) earthshaker. Chile’s earthquake actually triggered a tsunami warning even here in Davao. (breaking news, a mild 6.4 magnitude earthquake rocked Taiwan... yikes getting near!)

I really can’t help but be scared at the thought that what happened in Haiti and Chile CAN happen in Davao. Our lives are entrenched in this city we call home. My family is here. I can’t imagine how it would be if such a calamity will befall us here. I am not a pessimist, but this is a realistic expectation being part of the Pacific Ring of Fire.

On the brighter side, our volcano here is extinct and we don’t get typhoons. Oh well, to each his own calamity.

My First in 2010

It seems that I start my blogs explaining my absence very often. So let me just say I was busy and blogging did not seem to be important enough to fit in my schedule. All I do is just work and sleep. Although Mela and I went to Manila one weekend in December, that's about the only time that I was truly unwary of my responsibilities at work.

In my last entry, I announced that I tendered my immediate resignation. I eventually talked to my boss where I was talked out of an immediate resignation and instead tender a 30-day notice. I gave in primarily because I wanted a proper turn-over of responsibilities. But because of my position, I also had to talk to the director. Big mistake. So here I am still toiling in the same office. I was promoted (not yet confirmed though) and I have not heard the end of my close friends' ribbing about me always threatening to resign to get promoted (it happened twice already). I am not complaining anymore, though. Somehow the atmosphere at the office has changed and all the gripes I had about people were just temporary. I have adjusted well.

Well, that's that.

It seems it was just very recent that I was looking forward to the Christmas holidays, now January is almost done. How time flies. And here I go again, promising to blog more. I know I should. For my sake. For my sanity.

The Night was a Good, Good, Night

For the first time since I went on leave I decided to go out. The new Bruce Willis movie, Surrogates, seemed interesting. I liked the film's concept. So I invited a friend to watch it with me (my wife was not interested). Trevor sounded enthusiastic when I told him about my plan and my invitation. Trevor has been one of the few friends who stuck with me despite my paranoia and crazy mood swings.

Before hitting the cinema, I told Trevor that I wanted to drop by National Bookstore to buy the new Dan Brown book, The Lost Symbol. Unfortunately, it was not yet available. So instead, I head to the Filipino section to check my other favorite author's new book, Bob Ong's Kapitan Sino. As I was looking for Kapitan sino, I glanced upon a book that made me gasp. There it was, in all its glory, a book I never knew existed, Tikman Ang Langit, an Anthology on the Eraserheads. I really don't know what the book was about but I grab it anyway. I don't even care what the critics think about it, all I know is that it has Eraserheads written on it and the face of the band members plastered on the cover. If you knew me, you've probably known that I am a big E-heads fan.

We headed to the cinema while I was still in euphoria with the new Eraserheads memorabilia in hand (I also bought the Bob Ong book). The cinema was not full so we were able to sit comfortably. I really like the concept of the movie. You experience life without going outside your house by controlling a robot from the comfort of your house. You can party or go to work with your robot (which looks realistically human) surrogate. I remember talking to one of my friends about how we wish that there was another "us" who would do our day-to-day responsibility, specially when we're just fed up or dead tired. This was a realization of that. As I said, good concept.

We decided to have dinner and afterwards hit a coffee shop to surf the net. While I was showing some interesting video to Trevor (like the amazing Black-Eyed Peas performance at the Oprah show), I received a PM in FB Chat. Morgan asked me if I was indeed leaving. I thought, the cat's finally out. Morgan and I chatted for a little bit and we decided to meet up and have some beer.

The entire night I was avoiding cold beverages and getting my body cold because I had a nasty cough but the prospect of catching up with a friend over Red Horse was just too hard to pass. Come hell or high water (or severe barking), we decided to meet up at Double Tap. Just when Trevor and I arrived (MOrgan arrived a few seconds later), we found out that Double Tap was already closed! so we proceeded to the new Bak Bak.

We had a couple of bottles each, I told Morgan what Trevor already knew. Indeed I resigned but I was giving a 30-day notice (which was not my original plan), I also told him that my director is convincing me to stay and move to another program (no updates on that). Morgan also shared to us his week with his mother and his English stepdad whose accent Morgan adored.

As we wind down to our last glass, a fight ensued. On one side, the employees of Bak Bak and on the other, a few drunk and rowdy folks. It was fun to watch although an unchoreographed fight scene is not really as appealing as the one in movies. What a way to bring the day and the night to an end. 'Til next time, Trevor and Morgan. Thanks for the company.

We Belong to The Working Class, Deal With It

As usual, when I am online, I read through Facebook shoutouts.  I can't help it.  I shouldn't, I know.  A number of them are just bitchin' about their work.  I, too, quite a number of times made a pot shot at my job.  But some are a tad too vulgar at it.  It makes me cringe specially if it came from one of my office mates.

We all want to live a romantic life, where we can laze on white sand beaches, watch the sunset, set on a journey, climb mountains, pursue writing, back-pack through Europe... I could think of a million things that I'd rather do than work.  I envy those people who can just drop all cares, quit their jobs and be a bum.  Not that I want to be a bum, it's just that I never had the courage to be jobless.  In this day and age, and in this recession, it must be crazy to think about quitting work.

But no matter how much we deny it, we need to toil.  To earn a living, to eat, to pay bills, to clothe ourselves, to send a sibling to school, et cetera.  To pursue our interests, we need money.  To have money, we need a paying job.  Reality kinda knocks our heads most of the time, specially when we go hungry and there is nothing in our purses.  Some of us had to go through those lean times when money is scarce, me included.  Terrible times.  I don't want to be in that situation again, nor would I want that to happen on my son.  So we toil, for the day to day and for the future.  All romantic pursuits placed on hold.

If we try our best to appreciate the blessing of employment, we won't feel so bad and bitch about it.  All is not lost anyway, we still can walk white sandy beaches on vacations and all other pursuits, as long as we continue to have jobs, we will have the means.  We may not be as rich as the Waltons or the Zobels, but we will have reprieve somehow, but we have to work first.

Sailing (another pointless entry)

Ever wondered why you sailed faster than others, Captain Cook? That's because the wind was constantly blowing on your sails. Now that you are in the Doldrums, the windless region of this vast ocean, you drift aimlessly. Will you still reach your destination?

History says that you'd reach New Zealand, that should count for something. Sure your intended destination was the Spice Island, at least you discovered the land of the Kiwis. Serendipitous or not, you will reach A destination. But is it really success if you did not see the port you want to see?

Maybe yes, maybe no. One thing I can advise to you, my cap'n. Pray hard to the god of the wind, for he alone can sail a boat. You can harness the power of the wind but what will you harness when the wind dies. My point, if your boat have sails, your patron should be the wind god. Make sure he is not upset with you, assuming it's not yet too late.